Is It True?

If you are anything like me, you have a tendency to create meaning out of nothing and lets face it your career path reflects it! I have had the unique pleasure of being let go from every corporate job Ive had since college, and have come to realize that outside every closed door, possibility is always presenting itself. Instead of embracing change/possibility, we often times mope around and feel sorry for ourselves, while making everyone else around us MISERABLE!

In the event that you are having trouble moving past your current state of limitation, I invite you to put yourself in check by answering four simple questions outlined by Byron Katie in a book titled "Loving What Is"...

1). Is it true?
Yes, you got let go from your job, however is it true that you are lazy and none will ever hire you again?

2). Can you absolutely know its true?
Outside of the "shitty committee" inside your head, can you absolutely 100% prove that you are lazy and no one will ever hire you again? If you are able to obtain validation, I strongly suggest that you question your source. You may appear to be lazy when unmotivated or challenged, however you may be a whole new person when doing something you love to do.

3). How do you react when you believe that thought?
Example: In the past, Ive ascribed meaning around losing my job and somehow convinced myself that because of one negative experience I was doomed for the rest of my professional career. When I convinced myself of the lack and limitation, I heightened my fears and got nothing more than lack and limitation. When you are ready to rid yourself of the drama in your life, this is a POWERFUL question to consider!

4). Who would you be without that thought?
Example: I have come to believe that I am a success outside all of my setbacks, because in life we are not defined by what happens to us, rather how we respond. We all have traumatic pasts, however I encourage you to think about who you are outside all of the drama and chose another legacy for yourself.

Whose Life Are You Living?

I was recently talking to a neighbor about working out, and she mentioned that she used to always exercise to impress men, but has since started working out for her own health and has been able to maintain long-term success. As I was processing what she was saying, it became quite clear to me that as social beings we often care more about what others want for us than what we want for ourselves.

Although the people in our lives only want the best for us, to truly live an authentic life, one must follow the dreams/aspirations that are unique to oneself. To listen to other peoples ideas of what you should/shouldn't be doing is really only delaying the inevitable of you tapping into your own unique brilliance.

Example: Before my dad found an interest in Psychology, he was FORCED into going to Dental school as that is what his father thought he should do. Although he is absolutely brilliant, he flopped in Dental school as that wasn't his calling.

I encourage you to question whose life you are REALLY living & if you are happy living out someone else's dream, continue on your path. If not, do something different. Only you can make the change & break free from the mold that everyone else has put you in.

Set Goals & Hold Yourself Accountable

I recently had the opportunity to re-connect with a friend that I met in my undergraduate studies at ASU, and it became quite clear that the only difference between us here and now was that she set goals and held herself accountable, and I did just the opposite. Both proponents of higher education, we shared a vision of getting our Masters and teaching at a University. Four years later she had completed her Masters and what did I have to show for it? In that moment, I decided that I was going to set goals and hold myself accountable. Life works in mysterious ways as the very next day I took a class on goal setting at AWEE. Here are the Top 3 concepts that I learned...

1). We all have reasons for are inability to set goals (whether its fear of failure, a un-supportive social network, limited thinking, or our SAD stories), however the better you get to know yourself, the more likely you are to move beyond those fears and become the success that you already are.

2). A dragon or obstacle in goal setting is helpful as it often times propels us to the next level. This may be a nagging friend/family member, or a recent lay off, however without that dragon you may not be motivated to do something completely different (as we often times don't take action until life gets unbearable).

3). All goals should be S.M.A.R.T in that they should be SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ACTION-ORIENTED, REALISTIC & TIMED. When will you write your resume/apply online? What action steps will you take to get a job? How will you measure your progress (i.e. obtaining interviews)? Are your aspirations realistic to your skill set? What is your time frame for finding a job?